The Mystery of Christ
The Liturgy as Spiritual Experience

by Father Thomas Keating

Chapter 2 Part XVI

The Easter-Ascension Mystery

Christ Satisfies Thomas' Doubts

     Late in the evening of that day, the first day of the week, although the doors of the place where the disciples were gathered were bolted for fear of the authorities, Jesus came and stood before them and said; "Peace be with you!" With that, he let them see his hands and his side. The disciples were delighted to see the Lord. 
    Then Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, so also I am sending you."  With this, he breathed on them and said: "Receive the Holy Spirit. Whenever you remit anyone's sins, they are remitted; when you retain anyone's sins, they are retained."
    Thomas, one of the twelve, was not with the group when Jesus came, so the other disciples said to him, "We have seen the Master!" But he replied, "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the place where the nails were, and lay my hand into his side, I am not going to believe!"
    Eight days later, his disciples were again in the room and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, though the doors were bolted, and standing before them said, "Peace be to you!" He  

    The two great gifts of Jesus to his disciples on the day of his resurrection, the first day of the New Creation, were the forgiveness of sin and the restoration of divine union. But a still greater gift is implied: he gave them the Holy Spirit, the Source of the forgiveness of sin and of divine union. 

    Thomas was not present when the disciples had their first meeting with the risen Christ. His story is regarding the caliber of the disciples whom Jesus chose. Here is an apostle who had spent three years in the intimate company of Jesus undergoing intensive spiritual training, listening daily to his teaching, and witnessing many of his miracles. Yet it is obvious from this event that Thomas was still heavily under the influence of his emotional programs for happiness. Because Jesus chose to visit the apostles at a time when Thomas was absent, his reaction was, "How come I was left out? What's wrong with me? How do these other guys rate?"

    As Thomas thought about the situation, his indignation continued to increase. The other apostles kept telling him, "We have seen the Lord!" Deep down inside, his response was resentment rather than joy. He felt neglected, rejected, frustrated, and, finally, enraged.

    What was Thomas thinking? "If Jesus is not going to include me, I'm not going to include him. If he doesn't want me, I don't want him either." It was the childish reaction of withdrawal. He would price himself out of the market; so to speak. Have there ever been more outrageous conditions that a little clay man demanded of the Almighty in exchange for his faith? "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and unless I put my finger into the place where the nails were; and lay my hand into his side, I am not going to believe!"

    This was the equivalent of saying, "Goodbye! I am through with you guys. I am through with Jesus."

    We do not know how long Thomas nursed his bitterness, hurt feelings and sense of rejection. It did not make matters any better to observe the other apostles ecstatic with joy. Somehow they persuaded him to join them a week later for supper. We are not told why Thomas condescended to join them but we read: "Eight days later his disciples were once again in the room and Thomas with them. Jesus came, though the doors were bolted, and standing before them said, 'Peace be with you.' " 

    Jesus looked around the room until his eyes rested on Thomas. Thomas, at this point, was looking for a hole in the floor into which he could crawl. "My God! What have I said?" The outrageous conditions he had laid down in exchange for his faith struck home in their full clarity. Jesus looked straight at him. Maybe Jesus was smiling. Thomas foresaw what was going to happen.

    Jesus said, "Thomas, let me have your finger. Put it here in my hands! And now let me have your hand. Place it here in my side!" Notice the detail with which Jesus meets his outrageous demands: point-by-point and word-for-word. "And do not be incredulous but believe!" 

    That final remark pierced Thomas to the heart. He recognized the incredible goodness of Jesus in submitting himself to his demands: 'This loving acquiescence to every detail of his ridiculous demands placed Thomas in a state of complete vulnerability. Like Adam and Eve, he was being called out of the woods, out of the underbrush where his false self had been hiding from the truth, into the stark reality of Jesus' love. What could he say? His response was the total gift of himself "My Master and my God!" 

    We do not know whether Thomas actually put his hand into Jesus' side. But we do know that he had all the evidence he needed. He put his faith in the risen Jesus, perhaps to a greater degree than the other disciples. One marvelous effect of divine mercy is that the harder you fall, the higher you rise, provided you accept the humiliation. "When I am weak," Paul confessed, "then I am strong."
[2 Cor. 12:10]

     Jesus added one final remark: "Blest are those who have not seen and yet believe!" As if to say, "I am happy, Thomas, that you have found faith. But leaving you out of my first visit was not a rejection but an invitation to a greater grace. It was an invitation to put your faith in me on the basis of your own inner experience."

    The resurrection of Jesus is not only an historical event. The words of Jesus to Thomas suggest something more. They might be paraphrased as follows: "You based your faith on seeing me, Thomas, but there is greater happiness--to believe in my resurrection because you experience its effects within yourself." 

    This, of course, is an important message for us. It tells us that it is far better to relate to the risen Christ on the basis of pure faith that rests not on appearances, feelings, external evidence, or what other people say, but on our personal experience of the Christ-life rising up and manifesting its fruits within us. This is the living faith that empowers us to act under the influence of the Spirit--the same Spirit that Jesus breathed upon the apostles on the evening of his resurrection. 

More information can be obtained by reading the book The Mystery of Christ by Fr. Thomas Keating.  It is offered in our Book Store.